Sunday, June 21, 2015

Birds & Bees 101

HOW TO BECOME A GROUSE FATHER. Practice your strut before she arrives. Add a dash of color to your wardrobe (lots of ladies like red). Clap twice to get her attention. Eat your vegetables. Be patient while she bathes, try not to stare. It's a good sign if she ignores you. Go slow. No, slower. If you're really handsome, you're going to ruffle her feathers. If she runs away, return to step one. Repeat.